A Simple Outlook Shift on Self Love

Life is not easy & finding love is considered a huge blessing. A miracle.

All the more for someone who always thought that he is either abandoned or neglected in every relationship. Someone who always felt unloved by everyone. No matter how much he achieved or acquired it never seemed enough. His natural response was that of self-defence. Always on guard, alert. Where was the threat? In the most sacred and most visited place – his MIND.

In 2020 a deeper calling led Amit to join Meditation classes. After a few months, he progressed and also learnt Mindfulness. He went deeper and brought his practice to his daily life. He no longer avoided the negative thoughts that used to torment & haunt him, because, in his MIND he was a good person, hence negative thoughts cannot be entertained. Any negative thought about anyone, even those who constantly abused him was sinful. His guilt for feeling so about them, kept him chained to serving them, to serving only those who would use & abuse him. Leading him to mostly choose emotionally unavailable relations. Those who would only use him.

This type of behaviour is an emotional addiction pattern. It is self-destructive and harmful to everyone. You letting others use & abuse you, is not only harming you it is harming the abusers as well. Most people are unaware of the damage they are causing.

First, try to make them aware & if the episode is followed by changed behaviour, by all means, go ahead with it. If after 2-3 awareness sessions the behaviour remains unchanged & you are finding yourself stuck in the system, please note, that you are addicted to this behaviour. It’s you who needs a deep cleansing to reach mental clarity. It’s you who need to get stronger and take the tough call. A simple practice of daily basic meditation is going to enable you to live guilt-free and mentally stronger. More compassionate towards others & yourself. You got to do the work.

Amit did. He worked deeply with his guilt mindset. Journaled and went through deeper self-healing sessions of his wounded, hurt & neglected inner child. After some months, he left the abusive relations & rekindled his relationship with his parents. Restarted his work life and is doing fantastic right now. Quit the sleeping pills and antidepressants. He understood one simple fact of life. We have no control over situations and how people treat us. But we have full control over how we respond to it. Every moment of every day. 

Although a constant work in progress, Amit goes through occasional heartaches, financial challenges, sickness and loss. But he is now confident that no situation, person or item can define who he is. He understood that SELF-LOVE is all about inclusiveness. Everything outside, that disturbs him inside, is for him an opportunity to turn inwards. Dive deep into his body & allow the most difficult feelings to come out. Making him free of its pressure or stress, fully alive & deeply involved with life.

Your healing is simply a shift in perspective of your outlook towards life.

~ Kamalika Roy

Almora, Uttarakhand, India

31.08.2022